Leisure Academy: No Day But Felicia Day

Thinking back to last week’s “controversial” Vanity Fair cover featuring the magazine’s picks for Hollywood’s next-gen starlets, it dawned on me that there was one glaring omission, and no it has nothing to do with color, in fact, the exact opposite, the fairest, most pale-skinned actress I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, Miss Felicia Day. Now Felicia Day is certainly not a household name or even a face that you may be familiar with unless you are a Whedon-loving nerd like myself, but rest assured, if the hypothesis that I will shortly pose is correct, and Miss Day wishes it so, you will. First let’s get you caught up on your Felicia History. Felicia Day is the award winning actress/writer/musician/comedian/mathematician whose first notable recurring role was as a potential slayer in the 7^th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Having earned degrees in music and math (!), Felicia writes and stars in her popular web series The Guild as well as appearing in numerous other shows on TV and the web. She is perhaps most famous for co-starring as Penny alongside Neil Patrick Harris in the revolutionary web musical Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog. Felicia, a professional-level violinist, has recently made the transition into the world of comics writing with an adaptation of The Guild and performs monthly with her improv group Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em, all while maintaining an entertaining and interesting twitter stream.

**WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SECHEDULED BLOGPOST so I can pimp the folks of Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em. Now I have never been a fan of improv, I believe that watching bad improv is one of the most terrible situations you can ever have the great misfortune of finding yourself in, but on a recent outing to see Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em, my perception has completely changed. These people are f**king funny! And now I can respect the medium as a viable form of entertainment worth my time. The group is comprised of crazy talented people whose names you definitely won’t know if you don’t know Felicia Day, but who I sincerely hope to see succeed in a big way. They include the incomparable Jeff Lewis (The Guild), the soon-to-be-comedy-juggernaught Sandeep Parikh ( The Guild, The Legend of Neil), and the gorgeous/hilarious Tara Perry (aka The Movie Maven)*. Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em are awesome, and I highly recommend you check them out every month at the Knightsbridge Theater if you are in the Los Angeles area. Plus they are just good people who seem more than happy to chat with you after the show. WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGPOST**

Where was I…oh yes…Felicia Day. It is no secret that her popularity among the geek community can be attributed to her memorable appearances in the Joss Whedon canon (Buffy, Dr. Horrible, Dollhouse) and her vocal love of video games. Girls admire her as a positive female/nerd/gamer role model and guys love her because she’s attractive and plays World of Warcraft (and a bunch of other reasons too, I’m sure). Given this information, and my broad (possibly untrue) generalization that geeks are the primary consumers of entertainment on screens (they certainly control the internet/blogosphere, and there must be a reason movies based on comic books are so popular), my theory should seem natural. And that theory is that Felicia Day has the power to be the biggest star in Hollywood and a major player in the entertainment industry, if she wants it. Simply by securing this niche of geek dream gamer girl/BFF, Felicia has the nerd community in the palm of her hand…and next the world. She’s not the best actor around (but she’s good, and hasn’t really been given the Emmy-winning opportunity yet) and she’s not the best writer (although her talent is definitely growing), but this is irrelevant because of her pop culture standing alone. Already having a huge, fervent fanbase of dedicated followers who vigorously consume her every tweet and even dress like her at conventions, she’s on her way to Grauman’s hand-print status, and she hasn’t even starred in a movie yet.

Now maybe this is all just wishful thinking on my part since it’s no secret by now that I am a member of the Felicia-infatuated army, but hopefully there’s a little bit of truth to it. Having had the pleasure of talking with Felicia, I can say that she is truly a kind, grateful, and hardworking person fully deserving of her many accolades and (hopefully) numerous future successes. The thing is though that Miss Day’s rise to power needs to happen soon, because she is not getting any younger (please take no offense Felicia if you’re reading this! I love you!) and it’s only going to get more difficult to compete with the Amanda Seyfrieds and Emma Stones of the Hollywood world. Currently the ball is in Felicia’s court and I hope she takes advantage of it. It’s going to be very interesting to see what she does off the success of The Guild. As much as I would love to see her on the big screen, all she has to do is keep doing what she’s doing and I’ll be happy. You are awesome Felicia Day, keep on using your lovable persona and multi-talents for quality entertainment and you will go far. We love you!

*The laughs of Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em are also provided by Alex Albrecht, Tony Janning, Eddie Repanich, and Brooke Seguin

Leisure Academy: Board Game Round-Up Part 2

Holding the title Leisure King, it is a necessity that I love games. Video games, sports games, word games, mind games, card games, travel games, party games, and particularly board games. Games are an extremely popular leisure activity. In the last few years I have taken a special interest in strategy board games, or "gamer" games, German-made games that you won't find at Target. To read up on the characteristics of these award-winning German-style games check out my previous post. But today I would like to continue my discussion and promotion of strategy games with a look at some new ones I have tried out over the last few months.

Agricola:
Agricola, Latin for farmer, is a complex game in which you must grow and maintain a balanced farm, harvesting different crops, raising a diverse collection of animals, expanding and improving your house, and growing and providing for your family. Released in 2008, it won top awards at Germany's Spiel des Jahres and Deutscher Spiele Preis, kind of like the Oscars and Golden Globes for boardgames (minus politics, corporate backing, obscenely expensive clothing, and bullshit). Most impressively, Agricola took the crown for highest-rated board game on BoardGameGeek.com away from Puerto Rico*, which unwaveringly held that spot for the previous 5 years. This is actually quite understandable considering that it is extremely similar to Puerto Rico in goals and game play, but perhaps even more complex (who knew that was even possible?), with more game elements/variables, a more aesthetically pleasing design, and with new strategies to explore. The game is restricted to 14 turns only, which adds a dimension of anxiety, but also makes you focus and stops the game from going on too long. After the few times I have played it I must say that it is quite fun and challenging, but definitely not for the beginner strategy board game enthusiast. It took my friend and I a good 6 hours to read through the rules and understand the game, and we're pretty smart guys. I think the burden of having to explain the game to new players has prevented us from gaining new competition, but I am really looking forward to playing it with more than one opponent. Highly recommended, highly complex.

Shadows Over Camelot:
Serge Laget and Bruno Cathala's Shadows Over Camelot is a very unique game in which all the players are on the same team playing against the game itself, unless one of the players happens to have been secretly assigned the role of traitor and is allied with the game. Players take on the role of one of King Arthur's famed knights of the round table and each turn must introduce a new evil element into the game as well as attempting to combat it (unless, of course, you are the traitor, in which case your are being evil all the time, secretly). A cool aspect of the game is that there are a lot of things going on at once and you must use teamwork to beat the board, at any given point you might be questing for the Holy Grail, while another teammate is vanquishing invading monsters, while another player is fighting a dragon, and someone else is searching for Excalibur. That said, the game can get repetitive and putting everyone on the same team takes a slight bit of competitive fun out of it. I think the game is designed to be best played with a larger group of 6-7 players, and I have only played with at most 4, so that might also be contributing to my opinion. ...but try convincing 6 of your friends to commit a few hours to something so geekily titled as Shadows Over Camelot, not an easy task. It is definitely a unique, interesting, and new gaming experience, and for that I must recommend it.

Ticket to Ride Europe:
This is the same game as Alan R. Moon's original Ticket to Ride*, but with a new board and a few new game elements. On first play through, the Europe board seems much less balanced than the original America board, there are only two 6-train connector routes and one 8-train route that will earn you a whopping 21 points if you secure it. I then realized that the new element of the Station, which allows players to use opponents' connections, adds an entirely new dimension and strategy to the game allowing you to reach many more destinations than typically possible in the original game. I really enjoy this new element and will definitely be testing its limits in the future. The other new elements (tunnels and water routes) do not really change the game. I recommend this for veteran Ticket to Riders interested in new ways to play, but might suggest playing the American version first for the n00bs.

Chez Geek:
Unlike the other games featured, Chez Geek, is a simple, fast-paced, American made, card game, but has just as much "gamer" cred. It was created by Jon Darbro and Alain H. Dawson with help from gaming powerhouse Steve Jackson (famous for creating the game series Munchkin). Bursting with humor, the award-winning Chez Geek is a race to attain "slack" (aka leisure time) by doing various activities such as watching TV, playing RPGs, and getting nookie while your roommates (aka the other players) try to thwart you to reach their own "slack goal" first. You can also gain slack by calling fun people to come to your "room", getting a Live in S.O. (significant other), or purchasing booze, weed, and shrooms, but watch out for unwanted house guests. With cards delightfully illustrated by John Kovalic, it is quite fun and on-the-nose relevant to this blog and the post-grad slacker lifestyle (which I am currently enjoying). Highly recommended for people who like having fun, could possibly be a great drinking game, but not for younger audiences...I suppose it would probably have a PG-13 rating for drug references and sexual references.

Alright, I hope this gets you interested in checking out some fun and challenging alternatives to your Monopolys and Apples to Apples.

Leisure on! Play Games!

*Read my thoughts on Puerto Rico and Ticket to Ride here.

Leisure Decree: Conan Forever!

Since late night TV is a pretty big aspect of the leisure life style, I guess I should write a blog about all this late night hullabaloo. Being a 23-year-old male it should come as no surprise that I'm on Team Conan. I've been a fan of the man since about 6th grade when I could only watch on Friday nights, so he's been part of my life for quite a while. So I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon here, I have some emotional attachment to the silly red head. I was there for Andy's (1st) last show, I was there for the first "Year 2000", I was there when Triumph visited the Star Wars lines, I was there for every "Arnold" appearance, and I was there every time Joel brought Asian hookers into the announcer booth. So hopefully some corporate TV market researcher will find this blog post and I'll be added to the growing "Conan is freakin' awesome" data, and that will be how I support Coco. Now I don't really want to talk about how retarded, underhanded, and disrespectful the NBC execs are being towards Conan and the legacy of The Tonight Show, or what an unfunny asshole Jay Leno is. I just wanna take time to reflect on some of my favorite Conan moments, a man who has brought much laughter to my life, because in the end Conan is going to be just fine and the end result of this whole debacle is that we will be watching him on another network and the integrity of late night's most respected show will be forever tarnished. So without further ado here's some funny videos...for reflection...

Speaking of Triumph at Star Wars...remember his first visit to The Clone Wars line, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen...on Late Night or anywhere...



Here's some classic year 2000 with Duchovny...



And a message from Max Weinberg...



Remember when Conan hosted the Emmys...that was pretty cool...



I love Andy, but Joel was a great announcer...too bad this is the only Joel video I could find...just look at that excited face!



A classic Conan monologue:



...and remember when Andy had an awesome sitcom that Conan took his shirt off on and then some stupid execs canceled it...



Conan has been a supporter of my favorite band since the beginning! Their first U.S. TV appearance was on his show.



and finally here are some classic Conan clips for your pleasure. Thank you so much Conan for being awesome! Keep doing a great job, I know I will be watching you for years and years to come!

Leisure Decree: 2009 in Review

Now that 2010 is in full swing it is time for the Leisure King to tell you what pleased him most last year. Keep in mind this isn't a "Best of" list, picks were chosen simply by my level of enjoyment and that's all.

Top 10 Favorite Movies

10) Jennifer's Body
Universally panned by critics, inappropriately marketed, and mostly unseen by all audiences, Diablo Cody's sophomore writing effort delivers a satirical, hilarious, and sometimes scary teen horror dramedy that totally should be given a chance by fans of the genre. Cody's signature dialogue fits better in the mouths of Amanda Seyfried, Meagan Fox, and Adam Brody than Ellen Page and Michael Cera. Competently directed by Karyn Kusama...whoever that is.

9) Coraline
A beautifully animated and designed "Through the Looking Glass" type movie that just makes a perfect 90 minute family movie going experience. I didn't see it in 3D though, but I'm sure that makes it even cooler.

8) Up in the Air
Everything about this movie is quality. Jason Reitman is one of the most reliable figures in Hollywood, I look forward to his future projects with much anticipation.

7) Zombieland
A very funny and original movie featuring perhaps the greatest cameo of all time. Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone are pretty great too, Eisenberg though...meh.

6) Inglorious Basterds
Every scene builds in relentless suspense that hurts sooo good! I hope this ushers in an era of alternative history films.

5) Adventureland
I love theme parks and the 80's and just graduated college, so it's only natural that I would love this coming-of-age tale about post-college life. Ryan Reynolds is the stand-out actor for sure.

4) The Princess and the Frog
The best Disney musical since The Lion King. A 2D Disney experience that captures the essence of Walt's greatest cinematic achievements...but there's also a lesson of hard work and perseverance that accompanies the magic in the best way possible. Randy Newman's soundtrack is the true star of the film and now I have a whole new Disney album to sing along to.

3) Drag Me to Hell
The greatest horror movie I've ever seen in a theater. Sam Raimi's return to his roots delivers the scares and laughs as only he can, and it's non-stop horror magic from the classic Universal opening to the retro Universal Studios commercial end tag.

2) The Brothers Bloom
A fantasy caper full of fun and movie magic. This is why the movies exist, to take us to places we cannot go in reality. I was not a fan of Brick, but Rian Johnson's sophomore writing/directing effort is sooo immensely enjoyable. Four excellent performances by the leads Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rinko Kikuchi, and Rachel Weisz (perhaps my favorite performance of the year)!

1) Watchmen
Having just watched the uncut complete story version of this movie, I can say that this is the greatest Watchman film that could have or ever will be made. The film is almost as dense as Alan Moore's revolutionary graphic novel and everything Zach Snyder put in to it was fully intentional. A masterpiece of costume/set design and an almost perfect ensemble cast. Every detail! Perfection!



Favorite TV Shows

1) Dollhouse
What started out slow became classic Joss Whedon awesomeness! The unaired season 1 finale and the Sierra-centric episode are modern classics!

2) How I Met Your Mother
Comedy writing at its finest, and performances to match.

3) Party Down
I know barely anyone has watched this Starz program, but it is truly hilarious with a great ensemble cast...not to mention a host of great guest stars.

4) Dexter
Man, John Lithgow was freakin' awesome!

5) Parks and Recreation
Season 2 of Parks and Rec has probably been the thing I look forward to watching most each week. I love Nick Offerman!

Best New Show
Modern Family
It's just so well made and has so much heart, like what Scrubs was in its first few seasons.

Runner Up: Community
This show started out real weak, but it hit its stride in the most recent episodes delivering some incredibly hilarious moments.



Best Reality Show
Normally I would say Tool Academy, but this years Survivor was so incredible! Russell is the sole-Survivor, there will never be a better player than him. Period.

Favorite Performances
1) Rachel Weisz - "The Brothers Bloom"
Pure delight.
2) Danny DeVito - "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
Everything he does is comic gold.
3) Paul Rudd - "I Love You, Man"
What a great man.
4) Ken Marino - "Party Down"
This man should be a star!
5) Rinko Kikuchi - "The Brothers Bloom"
She's like modern day Azn Charlie Chaplin!



Most Worthless Cinematic Experience This Year
Tie: Terminator Salvation & Extract

Favorite New Songs
1) "Boombox" - The Lonely Island
2-9) All of Randy Newman's work on The Princess and the Frog soundtrack
10) "I Wish Christmas Was Here Today" - Julian Casablancas
Also of note are the Beatles Remastered albums, which sound incredible!

Best of Youtube
1) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review
This epic 70 minute analysis of the biggest disappointment in cinematic history is more compelling and entertaining than any of the prequel films and fills every OT fan's dreams of making manifest all the terrible things about Phantom Menace. Really great job!


2) Mr. Chi-City
Just watch this and you will know why..
...and he also gives back a lot to the community!

3) Kittens Inspired by Kittens


4) Saturday Morning Watchmen


Best Video Game
Beatles Rock Band! Yes!


Alright, I guess that's it for now....maybe I'll add to this if I think of some other awesome things from '09.

Why is Joss Whedon on My Shirt?

The Leisure King has been on hiatus due to non-leisure commitments, namely, figuring out my future, and will continue to be until all grad school applications are submitted. But I am here to bring you a very personal and special blog post today that I just could not hold back. It was prompted last night when I was asked "Why is Joss Whedon on your shirt?" Since I continually get questions like this by those who cannot understand my dedication to the man and his work, I have decided to briefly outline why Joss Whedon is so special.

Now I'm not going to discuss Joss's high level of integrity and dedication to quality that equals that of Pixar's. I'm not going to discuss his boundless creativity, originality, and media innovation. I'm not going to discuss his fully realized characters, immersive worlds and mythologies, or skills as a good old-fashioned storyteller. I'm not even going to discuss how his talents cross all media, from comic books, to cinema and TV, to music composition. I'm going to discuss the one thing that separates him from all other writers and contributors of pop culture: Joss Whedon knows that life really sucks.

No matter who you are, life is unrelentingly hard and filled with horrible, endless pain, but the moments and memories of happiness you can find in it make it all worth while. This very simple, universal idea is the crux of everything Joss writes and it is what makes his work so meaningful and endearing to his fervent fans. His characters are always in pain, anxious, fed up, scared, uncertain, and worried about the future, but they press on. Just like you and me and every human on this planet. Life never gets easier, it only gets harder and more complex.

For example, let's look at Buffy The Vampire Slayer because it is the most blatant allegory for life. The Hellmouth-topping-town of Sunnydale and the constant stream of demons and evil forces that attack it are the fantasy manifestation of the problems and terrible crap that we must face ourselves every day. It is Buffy's destiny to be the protector. There are no loop holes, no way out, her job for the entirety of life is to destroy demons and keep evil at bay. This is not unlike our own lives in which we have to constantly deal with the shit that life so graciously provides for us and there is no way out and no end. It is our destiny. In the Whedonverse, if someone tries to short cut out of life problems, everything gets much, much worse, and it's the same in real life. In an effort to keep this spoiler free, let's just say look at Willow's story arc for the best example of how terrible things are the result of cheating life. Buffy's greatest desire is to just be a "normal" girl and never have to deal with vampires again, but the vampires never stop coming. In most ways she is very "normal." Angel is constantly tortured by his past, Spike is always in love with women that he hates, Captain Mal is still fighting a war he cannot win, and Dr. Horrible, well, he's just really messed up. Every single Joss Whedon character is constantly battling their demons and their biggest enemy is always themselves, no matter if they are a hero or a villain, complete and total peace, happiness, and contentment is simply not possible in the Whedonverse and in life, despite our constant struggle to attain it.

In addition to the constant barrage of suffering we must face, Joss also knows what the most painful thing of all is, and he exploits it for our entertainment, captivation, and reflection. The most painful thing is the universe is when we are hurt by the ones we love, or when we hurt those who love us. This idea is played out time and time again in the Whedonverse. These are not complicated philosophies I'm discussing here, it's just a simple truth and Joss Whedon expresses this pain more elegantly and humanly than any other writer I've ever experienced. This is why, in my opinion, Season Six of Buffy is the greatest season of television ever created. It's all about pain and love and the best and worst things we face everyday.

Now I don't mean to be such a downer and I'm not just a painfully tortured person, in fact I've had a pretty damn good life compared to a lot of people and I'm very grateful for that, but I still face my demons, I still face the fear and and discontentment that life's problems never stop sending me. I can only imagine how much more Joss's work means to those who have really experienced suffering in their lives. But there is still another aspect to Joss's work that validates the pain, and that is hope and finding the good where ever you can. There are a lot of writers that can tell you how shitty life is (Noah Baumbach comes to mind), but Joss also shows us hope and the merit of pushing on through all the crap, it's what we are made to do. There are still friends, and family, and joy, and laughter, and love, and it's all worth fighting for, even though the pain is around much more often than the good.

I think Joss's incomparable understanding of the human condition is best summarized by lyrics from the musical Buffy episode, "Once More, With Feeling".

"Why is the path unclear,
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear. (Tell me)
Tell me where do we go from here."

I think that's pretty self explanatory. We are all searching for the ultimate contentment, our "home", our place in the universe, but we don't really know how to get there and we never will. No one knows what the future holds, but we're gonna get through it with the help of our loved ones, unfortunately, the pain is always gonna be there and only you can face yourself.

So that is why Joss Whedon is on my shirt. That is why I truly respect and adore this man's work and can only hope to create something half as good. He expresses the painful reality of life in an earnest, non-condescending, and inspirational way that resonates with me and the millions of other Whedon-loving geeks out there. Joss is definitely one of the good things in this demon-ridden world.

Now I can't force you to be a Whedonite, all I can say is that I've never met someone who disliked his work that actually spent some time discovering it. Keep on fighting the good fight, I sure will. Until next time...

"I will walk through the fire,
because where else can I turn.
I will walk through the fire,
and let it burn."

Leisure Academy: The Art of Appropriation

Appropriation emerged out of the modern art scene sometime in the early 20th century, today it exists most obviously in the world of DJ mash-up music and fan-made Youtube parody trailers. But is appropriation art? Is it kitsch? Can it be both? Or is it just post-modern garbage? ...well, I say who cares as long as its entertaining! And I'm sure everyone who has attended one of mash-up artist Girl Talk's popular live shows would agree. But for the sake of...academia...let's take a look at some of my favorite recent appropriations...

The Curious Case of Forest Gump

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Now I don't know if you would call this a mash-up....but it does have something critical to say about the creators of Benjamin Button. ...and it's definitely entertaining...but is it art?

Buffy Vs. Edward

As a Joss Whedon fan and fan of things that are just good in general, I really enjoy this mash-up. The creator has taken two popular teen vampire entertainments and combined them in a way that highlights the pro-feminist vision of Buffy mixed with the antiquated gender roles of Twilight and becomes a commentary on two apposing views of gender roles today.

Girl Talk - Feed the Animals

I don't think this video is official, but the music is the important part (although the visuals do add to the experience). I don't have much to say about this other than, it's clearly awesome dance party music. And it's something totally new comprised of things that other people already created.

....So let's just record scratch and cut to the chase here. I guess my conclusion is that mash-ups and appropriation are most definitely art...and it's awesome. Which is why when things like this guy getting sued for millions for mashing up Sgt. Pepper and Pet Sounds, and not selling it I might add, infuriates me! How dare they prevent art from happening! The guy is not even selling his musical mash-up, just putting it out there for people to enjoy, corporate bullshit! BAH! At least Girl Talk is an inspiration to mash-up artists everywhere, he sells his mash-ups and no one sues him because he's so well regarded in the music community and just great at what he does.

Anyway...why did I write a post about appropriation? Well I recently tried my hand at mash-up music..and I must say..I'm proud of myself on this one. And you are just going to have to visit my Myspace artist's page to find out what it's all about, let's just say I would probably get sued by the largest, most powerful entertainment corporation in the world if I sold this. Just call me DJ Browntown...I'm available for hire...please.

Oh, BTW, more shameless self promotion, this was not my first attempt at appropriated internet glory. Youtube recently restored the audio for my mash-up fan trailer that re-imagines Miyazaki's Totoro as a horror film. Enjoy!

Leisure on!

Extreme Leisure: Half-Dome for Dummies

A 17 miles, 14.5 hour hike up and down a rocky mountain with a 4,800" elevation gain is not typically the first thing that comes to mind when you think of leisure. However, since most Half-Dome climbers aren't getting paid to scale that beast, I suppose it technically is. ..and this is the story about my recent experience making the trek without having any training, being over weight, having had 4 hips surgeries, and in the company of 4 dads.

If you read an guides on climbing Half Dome they will usually suggest buying hiking shoes and gear long in advance so that you can break them in and test them out. I bought my shoes, Camelback, trekking poles, and water bottles 4 days before. I recommend not doing this. This should give you a good idea of just how prepared I was for this venture.

Parking to Trail Head
We arrived at our parking space around 6 a.m., sunlight was just barely peaking over the valley walls. The first portion of the Half Dome excursion is the excessively long journey from the car to the trailhead, for some reason there is no parking close to the beginning of the trail...so...this was a fun portion of unneccesary walking with 50 pounds on your back that I was very much looking forward to on the way back...at least there was no incline.

The Mist Trail
The actual trail begins with steep yet paved trails up through the valley. It was at this portion of the hike that I was most discouraged and feared that I would not make it very far. My faulty hip was getting too tired to fast, fortunately, no other portion of the hike (exluding cable climb) was as rigorous. The paved paths turn into rocky man-made steps up along the cliff next to 2 water falls. The motion of my leg climbing steps is much easier on it than climbing stepless inclines, so I was reinvigorated by this new section and by the natural beauty of the stunning waterfalls. Here is where you meet a lot of kids on unserious hikers just making the couple hour journey up to see some waterfalls. There were also some non-English speaking Japanese people, clearly not dressed for this activity, that became our hiking buddies for a goo portion of the Mist Trail.

Little Yosemite Valley
When you reach the top of the waterfalls there is a bathroom. A bathroom that signals the beginning of the flattest portion of the trek, something I'm very grateful for. It was at this bathroom that a very fit dad and his two kids warned us of the "Step of Agony" refering to the sub-dome portion of the trail we had yet to face. This was definitely the part of the trail I was fearing the most, much more than the cable climb, and these kids only sealed the deal. The valley portion of the trail has soft sand for the mule riders taking their trip up to the dome in luxury. The sand his hard to walk through but if you're lucky a harder trail will have been blazed to the side. It was at this portion that it was obvious that the beefy spaghetti sauce we had all eaten for dinner the night before may not have been the best idea. ....so much farting...John Muir would be displeased by our pollution.

Switchbacks to the Sub-Dome
After you hike through the valley you reach a endless trail of swithback leading up to the mountain's crest. Taking lots of breaks you meet a lot of different people passing you and we also met our first people coming back down. There was a pair of young guys who had been on the top of the dome for sunset. A guy and his dad who had been hiking for 30 days at that point, starting from Oregon and heading to their destination, a wedding in Mexico. By this point I was a machine in constant movement of the hills, the rest stops became the hardest part of the climb because starting up again was getting too difficult. On the mountain's crest we could see perhaps one of the most beautiful landscapes my eyes had ever seen.

The Sub-Dome
This was by far the portion I was most fearing, but as we sat on a log resting before tackling this portion we were taken aback by a man wearing flip-flops. He was French and obviously in excellent physical condition. He is also most likely the only person to ever refer to climbing Half Dome as "some little steps and zen a cable thingy." Those crazy French! So we began the dome ascent, and it turns out that it is not at all the most terrible part of the hike, an actually quite fun! Just don't trip or it will be a very steep and painful fall. I was extremely invigorated by how easy this portion of the trail was and ready for the real dome.

Some little steps and cable thingy.

The Dome
After hiding my trekking poles under a rock, I put on my gloves and attacked the dome. Pulling my self on the metal cables between wooden 2 x 4's, It seemed simple at first. It was only half way up, as my arms were starting to get tired and the rock was only getting steeper with the end seemingly getting farther, I realized that I had put myself in a life threatening situation. It's a long way to fall. And the scariest part is when people are passing you on their way back down. But I finally made it just in time before my arms fell off. And actually, the view from the top of the dome wasn't that spectacular and the top is just a rock, nothing too beautiful. The view from Glacier Point which you can drive to is better, which isn't to say it isn't beautiful atop the dome, it is, its just nothing more amazing than something you can drive too. The only reason for going to the top is for the accomplishment of saying you have made it there, and the honor of buying the shirt in the gift store when you return to the bottom. It was at the top of the dome that I realized the only thing more terrifying than coming up the cables, was going back down. Almost 90 degree angles of slick rock while you cling to a slick cable. One mistake equal dead, one mistake for someone above you also equals dead for you. But I got down, after some real breath-losing moments. And I can say that I will never be climbing those cables again, I want to live, there is no reason to risk my life like that. If you choose to climb the cables be absolutely sure you can, if you have any qualms don't do it! I wouldn't recomend anyone do it, I think there should be more warnings as to the difficulty of this task, but watching so many people going up and down constantly can give a false impression of how easy it is. You have your life and others in your hands. I fully endorse hiking up to the bottom of the cables, because it is amazing and beautiful and exhilarating, but the cables, meh.

Down the Mountain
Going down was pretty uneventful other than viewing the bear that we probably got too close too. Also there was a group of kids going up that were planning on being on top of the dome for sunset...stupid! Anyone who is going to climb those cables in the middle of the night is just stupid.

John Muir Trail
When we reached the bathroom at the top of the mountain we had a nice chat with two actors on their day off from the Rancher Ned show and we game them beef jerky. Here we chose to take the John Muir trail to the bottom rather than the Mist Trail passed the waterfall, it is a couple miles longer but much less steep. Although we finally got back long after sunset in the dark, I am so grateful we took this path. This ended up being my favorite part of the trail. It consists of epic Lord of the Rings style paths carved into the cliffs and as we passed some epic vistas at sunset while a forest fire bured on a far off mountain side I wished I had brought a boom box with me so I could blast that epic Lord of the Rings score...I'll have to do it next time.

We finally made it too the bottom alive, a bus happen to go by that took us right to our car, and then we had an amazingly delicious mediocre meal. ...and then we bought our t-shirts 10 minutes before the store closed.

Here is what I advise if you plan on taking the ultimate casual hikers excursion. Go on some practice hikes, take a lot of water, take a lot of protein bars and energy foods, don't push too hard, just "stroll with a goal," rest every hour or so, and get some trekking poles if you can, I probably wouldn't have made it to the top without them, they take so much pressure off your legs. Have a positive attitude, talk with the other people on the trail, you should have a great time, just don't climb the cables unless you know you can handle it.

In the end I proved to the world, my family, and myself that I can do a 17 mile hike without training and that I'm maybe in better physical condition than one might think, at least in better condition than my dad. I'm ready to hike some more.

Leisure on!